God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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