I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
