I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
