I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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