So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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