my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
