I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
