i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
