his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
