if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize