you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
This girl is more easily done than said...
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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