ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
