you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Randomize
