It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
