I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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