airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
