Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Randomize
