i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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