I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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