somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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