dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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