clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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