you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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