The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
