You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
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