i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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