Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
