): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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