Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
