Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize