well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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