it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize