You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
