its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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