also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
