If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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