I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
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Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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