Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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