I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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