i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
