i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
