We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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