Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
