If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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