I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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