When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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