Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
