I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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