I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
