Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
