the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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