btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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