you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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