he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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