And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
