My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize